Who we are

We never really know who we are. The way we talk, walk and understand situations can be seen under so many different types of lenses. You see what you want to see and some people show what they want. Some people see through everything you’re showing and focus in on the unsaid stories. The stories that you focus on before you close your eyes at night. Those stories which leave you, through the drops of your tears, instead of your mouth. They listen, take notes and trust you; even when you both know you’re not trusted to be honest. 

Honest about the thunder storm. You both hear the rain drops. Why act like it’s just another sunny day. We’re both drenched now. Tell me how to shelter myself from the pain.

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Ok

It is okay to behave like you’re okay. Show everyone how you can lighten up the mood. Talk to anyone, understand anything and everything. Laugh about absolutely anything around you or even hundreds of miles away. 

Laugh about something ever so close to your heart or far way by the broken parts of your mind. Ignore, ignore that thumping sound in the cage. Ignore that paining feeling which grows stronger the second you leave a conversation, room or eye contact. 

It takes just 1 second for everything to just fall back. Break past that safe and show you what pain is, once again. 1 second alone for you to tell yourself, “I’m okay, I’m happy”. 1 second for you to leave the room and as well as the room, leave that pointless smile and laughter behind.

It’s all fun and games until that thumping sound is louder than your thoughts. It’s all okay until you think about the truth. I just never thought I’d need saving from my own mind. And that’s ok with me.

Express 

Whenever you’re doing something, it’s hard to say but I just want you to make the most of your time. Anything you’re doing, just enjoy yourself. Take a step back, appreciate everything, take two steps back into the moment. Live in the moment. I really think it’s vital for everyone to live in the moment. If you live in the moment it will encourage you to do more, be happier, express yourself and that’s what life’s all about. Don’t just sit there having battles with your future or past self. Creating scenarios. Talk about everything in your head. The most stupidest thoughts, give your thoughts a voice. Just live in the moment. Don’t look back and regret a second. Be expressive and be happy. 

Just a thought for good 

Mind grown

People. They mean the world to us. A person can make life so amazing. Worth living. The life you live becomes so beautiful and you love it. Life doesn’t stay the same all year round. You don’t stay the same all year round. Everything changes, we watch it change, like seasons. They change so swiftly you can’t keep up but they inevitably change anyway. That’s not your choice. You don’t have to force your life now, into last years mould.

 You can’t fit all your growth into one space. New experiences, people will join you. New places will be available where others had abandoned. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a new world, that you can handcrafted for yourself for a new year. You chose who comes and departures, don’t force last year into your growth. You can’t water all the plants with the same amount of water. Everything’s and everyone need different things. Let it be natural. It’s okay not to be the same person you were last year. If you are the same, then you’re just not growing enough. 

When you look back I don’t want you to think “mind blown” think “mind grown” 

Be good to you for life. 

It really sucks, to find out that you’ve just been so blind. That you’re an idiot to just see through people’s problems. People who are so close to your heart. Yet so far away. You could live in a room with the same person for 10 years and yet never hear a single tear drop sink into the carpet. It’s hard to take it in and not cry, for the tears you didn’t know about before. I can’t really say anything, feel so mute, over time I feel like I should of known earlier. Could of said earlier. Would of done something, changed everything. Not now. It’s gone, done, dusted, forgotten. So who am I to come ruin your cover? Keep it, allow every cell in your body to forget it. I’ll try never hurt you like they did. Promise 

Happy fool

The people around us define us. We want the loving and care, yet we struggle to find time or dare to do more. More is what separates us from the rest, the difference. The difference between you and the next person who can come along and do what you did better. More comes from within, more comes after you put away your overthinking and egoistic thoughts. When you decide to look like a fool for being too nice. Being a fool for someone you care about will seem so ridiculous to the temporary minds which judge us; but permanent happiness comes from within when you’re okay with being a fool. Are you really a fool if you’re the one who’s happy? 

You got you

We tell ourselves I’m not good, strong, clever enough. We say that because we feel like we’re in competition. Yet we forget that each and everyone of us are a whole new definition of unique. So how can we compete? You’re only in competition with yourself. In competition with the person you were yesterday. One day you’ll feel like you can’t get any better; that’s how you’ll know you’ve made it.

Tricks 

My mind plays tricks on me all the time. Tells me lies coats everything with truth. Sometimes we get caught up so much in what we want to be we forget what we go through. Everything, every little thing, it’s all just you struggling and aiming your arrow; straight enough to hit the bullseye. Everything around you, left, right and centre is a barrier. It’s only a barrier if you consider it one. You’re only losing if you tell yourself you’ve lost. You’ve only made it when you become content on who you are today and what you have. What comes after today is just a stepping stone to another version of you. Don’t let these tricks phase you.

How         long

Days go by like minutes, as it was written to be.

Time flys by, with just you stuck in the moment trying to figure out what you want and need.

Some friends come in shapes of family members, feel closer to you, guarding you; like the rib cage sheltering your delicate heart.

It only takes a couple of days to give your heart to someone. Allow it to be fully consumed into a fantasy which is hardly everlasting.

It takes more than years to rebuild that courage to trust someone with it. Treat it like a diamond, it only takes a few mistakes for you to lose value for yourself. Value the person who told you it’ll be okay and guided you to make your heart beat again.

Sometimes when you’re just there stuck in the moment, don’t forget to say Thank you for the everlasting memories and loved ones. Or before you know it’ll be all lost in a heartbeat.

Cloudy thought

What do you do when, you love someone so much your left wide open, vulnerable…

and they take advantage of that breaking every strand of hope and all the little heart strings ; that keep you going. Chordae tendineae : cord-like tendons that connect the papillary muscles to the underside of the heart valves. vitally important but they’ve been snapped without a second thought. What happens then?

Then you’d have me.

Someone whose in constant battle with the one who cut the chords but who only ends up fighting themselves.

And yet I want to savour your memories. The person who I fell in love with wasn’t you but I loved him endlessly. Thank you for making me who I am today.

Because you know what you need when someone paints those dreams and forgets to colour them.

That’s why you should never fully invest yourself in to something, only savour it. Try to make it last, try to live in the moment. Struggle through the bad times, to rejoice in the good times, love deeply during the struggle and watch the love return to you.

It really is cloudy out there, turn your fog lights on.